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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26759830">High Cost</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/southernbookgirl/pseuds/southernbookgirl'>southernbookgirl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fictober 2020 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCIS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Autumn, F/M, Fictober 2020, Heartbreak, fictober 20, fictober20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:22:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>537</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26759830</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/southernbookgirl/pseuds/southernbookgirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What in your life comes at a high cost?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ellie Bishop &amp; Nick Torres, Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fictober 2020 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949707</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>High Cost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So, I wrote this in about thirty minutes whilst I had some downtime at work. I believe the story concept made more sense in my head, but I wanted to try and participate in Fictober in some manner. Please forgive me for any fragmentation in its comprehension.</p><p>Prompt #1: "No, come back!"<br/>Prompt #2: "That's the easy part."</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eleanor “Ellie” Bishop sat on the park bench next to her car, cooling down after a long walk. It had been some time since she had walked at this greenway near her apartment. The earthy browns, golden yellows, and burnt reds of the trees’ leaves painted a beautiful, crystalline-blue background, courtesy of the afternoon sky that crisp autumn day. She leaned her head back, with the wispy ends of her layered honey-blonde hair tickling the bench. She wondered when she last felt this peace, felt this calm – in her line of work, calm was a luxury and peace, of any sort, came at a high cost.</p><p><em>A high cost of what?</em> she thought, heaving a deep, soulful sigh, her breathing labored. The calm after the storm was the grief-stricken wife whose husband’s killer met his end, yet his earthly departure would not bring about her husband’s return. The peace that settled at home was uneasy, unsure if the danger of her job, the things Ellie knew, would one day come back to haunt her.</p><p>Peace and calm in her world meant something very different compared to that of other people. The high cost of it was realizing too late you were in love with your partner, but you would never have a chance to explore it. Two agents, whose job was it to silence their own thoughts, hide away one’s feelings till you were able to withstand the pressure in your line of work. This hardened façade softened when you saw your partner in pain after the death of a friend and fellow agent. It cracked bit by bit when you saw how wonderful your partner, who said he would never have children, tenderly cared for an abandoned baby and loved him as if the baby was his flesh and blood. More chinks appeared in her armour when she saw her partner fighting for his life in that hospital room after an attempted assassination, wondering if he would awake. But the final crack, the final blow, came when something mundane grew bigger – it was the match that lit the ready fuse.</p><p>Words were said, barbs flew. She desperately called after him, saying, “No, come back!” when he turned on his heel and headed toward her apartment door. She yelled after him, asking why this was so hard for him. In anger, he turned, his deep chocolate eyes full of fire, as his voice cracked: “Loving you – that’s the easy part! Hoping for it in return? That’s the hard part.” Without a word to reply, Nicholas Torres stormed out of Ellie’s apartment, and out of her life. As quickly as the storm came, it left, leaving a hollow and empty peace in its wake. The high cost that came with living her life was, she could never love the person who loved her more than anyone else on earth. Losing her first love was hard. Twice was difficult, but the third time? The final straw.</p><p>Inhaling crisp fall air, Ellie’s breathing relaxed. Her thoughts slowed. Against the backdrop of a world painted in beautiful light, Ellie let the darkness envelope hers.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>“Because what’s worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?” ~James Patterson</em>
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